I've being obsessed with Paris my whole life! I always dream about it! France seems to be such a cool place and I can't wait to be there someday! I fought this cute amazing french calendar! I'm totally buying this!!
October has become officially one of my favorite months of the year! i am to list things that make me happy this October: so here it goes... 1. Fall clothes.. I LOVE WEAR BOOTS AND COATS people look pretty on them! 2. Hot drinks.. It feels so good to have something warm when it is cold outside 3. It is still sunny.. even it is cold you can get some sunshine 4. Fall colors.. i love them! They are so classy and vintage 5. He left.. finally he is not in my life anymore I decide to let the memories go and be me. At the end of the day if I feel good with myself, people will notice and they will love me for who I am. 6. Magic jack entered in my life.. now i can call my mommy whenever I want =) 7. I had several dates with some cool guys... still waiting for the right one 8. Halloween.. it is one of my favorite American holidays.. I love to play dressing up!! 9. I discovered the joy of blogging... it feels so good to be able to express myself, read my crazy stories, and "we'll collect the moments one by one. i guess that's how the future's done"- Feist. 10. Pumpkins, Cinnamon, brown sugar, apple... i love fall fragrance!! 11. Red and gold trees 12. The feeling that Christmas is getting closer!!
I couldn't call him. Don't blame me, it was hard! I decided that an email will be enough. I got to the point that I'm sick of this situation so I told him everything that i feel in that email. He didn't reply and honestly I was expecting an email back!
I feel so much better now
Finally, I figure out the only way that I could get rid of those feelings is telling him them even if he doesn't care anymore. I do care and love is something that should be never hidden. So if u love someone tell them, let them know.. After all, you will do your part and I promise you will feel better (cuz on my own experience i felt better).. what they do after it is up to them but at least u did something. This world needs more love!! Do something to full your life with that amazing feeling called LOVE you won't regret it.
Things that make me happy today: 1. His text message this morning 2. He offered me a jacket 3. Have time to read during my chem class.. 4. Realize once more that everything that is worthy needs sacrifice 5. Learn how to become one 6. Laugh in my french and italian cinema class... my teacher is funny.. this is his quote for today: "You are invited to come to my house and eat donuts but if you have to come to my house on Halloween night how lame is your life haha" 7. Thinking in gelato 8. Talking with my mom 9. Seeing friends that i didn't see for a while 10. Jack Johnson's video "Better Together" live in Paris
My heart is about to explode!! I cant hold this anymore but i don't want to break into little pieces in from him!! I hate that I am not enough brave to do that freaking call.. my heart and mind are full of questions right now! What should I do? the worst feeling in life is what if... what if he doesn't love anymore? what if he still feel something for me? what if I just forget.. and just keep moving on! what if he is the love of my life do I suppose to leave it like that.. not even trying once more what if I already try enough but I keep building up too much expectations and still attach to the memories and feelings of the past what if he was right and we are not mean to be together what if I'm the only one stuck with this feeling and he got over it! what if... what if....... what if............... I CAN BELIEVE THAT IM STILL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THAT I DIDN'T SEE FOR MORE THAN 3 MONTHS
I'm happy!! I went out with the guy from my class! I went to work at 4 and i left at 6 and he suppose to come to pick me up at 6:30. I miss the bus so i walked as fast as I can, praying that he won't be at my door! Then my battery died so I couldn't text him to come a little bit late. Anyways things turn well I got home at 6:30 he wasn't there yet (lucky me). The inicial plan was to watch a movie in the internacional cinema but we decided to go to his place and watch a movie. We Watched the pursuit happiness if you didnt watch yet I highly recommended. After that we ate ice cream, then went to the park swing in the swingers ( and you know I LOVE SWINGERS), played frees bee, went back again to his apt, watch a little bit of the who's documentary, went for a walk, sat close to the pond, saw how the ducks behave and laughed of them, walked in a rainy night, he hugged me... It was all nice the only thing I regret is when he hug me like a baby that remained me Daniel so bad. he was the one who used to hold me like that! You can tell I still miss him! =S
my mom and I having fun this summer in Guayaquil Te amo mimi!!
Today, the day couldn't start better. My mom called me and woke me up !! I miss old days in high school, my mom always woke me up with a yummy breakfast and a sweet kiss!! I love her so much.. I'm so happy to be her daughter, for her influence in my life, for her support, for her love!!
Today the guy that i like from my spanish class ask me out!! I'm excited =) I'm studying chem and i getting it!! what a sweet feeling..
As all you know he is leaving on friday next week. It is about time to let him and the memories go!!
Today I'm moody!! I hate that I can focus lately!! I know what i want but it is becoming harder that I thought. I need my mom so bad! I was thinking what if I just come back but running away it is not the solution! This feeling of being overwhelmed is killing me.. midterms are here, he is leaving, I dont like my job, I am not having auto control lately, finding friends has been hard lately!!
I just want to know what my Heavily Father wants from me?? and how I can achive it? I miss old times where everything was so simple and I had my mom supporting me and giving me strength to keep going!
Dating could be more complicated that it seems to be. Today I went to take lunch with the ex boyfriend of the sister of one of my friends (this sounds so odd but it is a real story) Why this has to happen to me ?? seriously are you kidding me?? First, these girls are Ecuadorians so I will betray my country and my own people (I'm exaggerating but I feel the ecuadorian community will hate me). Second, I don't want to deal with all the drama, I have enough with what i have by now! Third, I don't know if this guy likes me or he just want to make her ex jealous.. and if thats the reason I don't want to be part of it. Forth, he is kind of cute but he is blond and blondies are not my type! Fifth, I think I enjoy the date =S, and I really like that he loves my culture... He has been texting me all day!! ( its weird cuz usually americans dont do that after a first date)
I feel that sometimes my life is a soap opera. For real i could sell it and make some money with all my drama and my crazy stories haha
I have such a good bro... today he surprised me with the most wonderful and beautiful flower bouquet!! Today is not even my b-day but it made my day.. I'm super happy . I'm lucky!! I LOVE YOU MY BRO... U R THE BEST
Psd: I look so pale in the pics there is no doubt that the summer is gone.. so don't look at me look the flowers lol
This was a fun weekend. It was full of fake stomachache haha.. late driving nights, late dinner with friends, a cute waiter, crazy dances moves, good conversations with my mommy, cleaning rooms, text messages that weren't responded, recognition of what i really need rather what i want, chatting with old friends, be someone else just for talking with him, unexpectedly someone ask me on a date, someone try glasses and she realize that they are not made them to her.. a little bit of crying! But overall there I found reasons to be happy I'm alive and everyday, every hour, every minute can be a new start! Just try and try!
A couple weeks ago I was eating in the cougareat when this guy approach to me with a dumb excuse that I didnt even understand . He ask me if he could sit next to me.. I was nice and I said yes (my mom taught me manners). He started to talk to me and he asked me for my number I didnt hear from him til sunday night (back home he would text me right away). He invited me to take dinner on Monday (I EVEN SKIP WORK FOR THIS DATE) I told myself: Laura you have to give this guy an opportunity just go! Dinner was fun we ate in the noodles&company, anyways his invitation was literally We just had dinner and that was it!! I send him a text the other day he send me a short text and I didnt reply! It is not that i like this guy cuz Im not but it really confuse me how dating works in Provo! Why this guy would like to spend money paying dinner if he wasn't interested on me? Why a guy would approach to you with the chance of being dumped out? for me he must think you are attractive for doing that or what!!
He is leaving next week!! I didn't call him yet. I really want to do that call but I don't know what to say.. should it be just a casual call like " hey good luck with your trip" or should I be honest with myself and tell him the truth of how I feel... I will let you know how it will go?? Pray for me I don't want to break my heart again.. I'm barely recovering so hopefully he will be nice with me (it doesn't mean that he should still be in love with me but if you ask me it will be cool to know that he stills feels something for me) Anyways I don't want to build up fake hopes inside me, i just want to hear his voice just one more time, and wish him a good luck with his new life!
There is a time in your life that you meet someone who is more like a friend she is more like your other you! This gorgeous girl next to me is my other me. I love her so much! We share so many things in common: dancing, glasses, style, even our dears have the same name "DANIEL"..... I wish I could have her a little bit closer cuz I miss her a lot. People think that we are sisters cuz we look alike a lot! what do you think? do we look a like? I'm happy that i was able to find my other self.. I'm sure that this is a blessing that not everyone have.
I LOVE YOU
Hay un momento en la vida donde conoces a alguien que es mas que una amiga, ella es tu otro yo. Esta hermosa nina junto a mi es mi otro yo... La amo mucho!! Compartimos tantas cosas en comun: la danza, los lentes, el estilo, incluso el nombre de nuestro queridos es el mismo " DANIEL" .. Deseo tanto tenerla mas cerca porque la extrano demasiado!! La gente piensa que somos hermanas por nuestro parecido fisico! que piensan? nos parecemos? Estoy tan feliz de haber sido capaz de encontrarte amiga.. Estoy segura que esto es una bendicion que no todos tiene
I heard a lot about of service lately and I thought what I'm doing to serve others. I really want to help but where, when and who i will help.. all this questions where resolved. I found this web site volunteermatch.org....Go and check it out you will find a good opportunity to serve others
Tuesday... they are always better than Mondays!! This lately days Im going through this hate/love relationship with my life!! I have a paper due tomorrow and I didn't even start it! I have to go to work and I dont even have a good excuse of why yesterday I didn't go to work yesterday! I decide that Im gonna call him even if he brakes my heart again! At least I will stop wondering and imagine things plus he is leaving pretty soon so I wont have to see him again! Probably I wont sleep tonight, I might be writting this paper all night long, hopefully my computer will work (today was acting weird) and tomorrow I will feel much better than today!
I'm feeling frustrated!!! I hate that HE IS LEAVING, I cant do anything about it, I hate that I can get over him, I hate to not be able to call him and tell him how i really feel, I hate that things ended up so fast, I hate when I cant understand chemistry, I hate when I get excited and nothing happen, I hate when i set goals and I don't accomplish them, I hate when I feel alone..
one of the last pictures together.. where things seemed to be perfect I MISS YOU!!
Today i feel much better! I cleaned my room and it looks awesome!! I went to church a little bit late but i still enjoyed to be with the kids! I was craving for a soap opera long time ago til i found El refugio!! As a good latina, I have to enjoy that kind of things!
I'M SO READY FOR THIS WEEK!!
(tomorrow i will have a date I will let you know how it goes)
I'm kinda of mad Ecuador didnt win against Uruguay and that makes harder our chance to go to the World Cup. I don't lose my faith til' the last game, for me Ecuador can still make it !!
I spent the night with some friends playing arcade tokens. I had a blast!!. I remembered my childhood and it was priceless.
I also figured out something really sad! He is leaving to Peru at the end of this month.... I will miss him even more but maybe this is what i need. I really want to call him and tell him how i feel but i dont want be hurt again!
We hate when you don't do want you have and need to do... I hate when you procrastinate but I love you no matter what!! I just want you to be better!! You get easy despair but I want to tell you something.. this life is about keep trying, trying and trying! You have everything to be successful!! I like when you wear dresses you look really cute on them!! I hate when you don't do you laundry seriously we need clean clothes more often ( I know we have a lot of clothes and we never run out of them) but for your own sake do it once a week and I promise you it will be easier! I know that lately things seems to be hard especially for your heart, I know that you miss the guy and I wont judge you. For the first time you really feel in love. You loose this time, he left you I know how hard that was for you. You had a lot of plans, ideas, illusions, desires, goals and all of them included him. He is gone, he didn't take the risk so stop wondering what life would be if he will be here. HE WONT COME BACK! and thanks god he is not coming back, he is not a bad person just not the right one for you! Take advantages of being school, you don't imagine how many opportunities you are loosing when you get discourage! as I tell you keep trying even if you fail that will make you a better person. When you decide to do something SAY IT, MEAN IT AND DO IT. Life is not easy and the kind of life you want its not for losers! Enjoy what ever you are doing time wont come back again! Thanks for all you do, thanks for trying to be better, thanks for show love for others, thanks for being grateful. you will find your prince and you will have a wonderful family.
The weekend is here! This week was fast and I'm happy for that! This weekend I will be mostly like doing homework, studying, putting new goals, watching this movie and sleeping. I dont wanna see anyone. This weekend will be all about me!! HAPPY WEEKEND!! XOXO
Today, I'm not feeling good!! I dunno whats wrong with me!! I need to sleep more. I just realized that I become a facebook addicted and THAT'S NOT GOOD at all.. The weekend is here and it is time to breath, to recover energy, to fight against my new addiction, to keep going because..........
I'm so proud to be latina!! It is awesome to have a heritage rich of culture, traditions, dances, yummy food and wonderful people. Latinos are well=known for shaking the bootie and our lively parties!! One of my best friend is participating in a beauty contest and so happy for her! This is not a normal beauty contest! cuz you dont need just to be pretty (obviously she's gorgeous). You need to represent also the culture of the country. She is representing Paraguay and Brazil! She just called me this morning to ask me if I can be her choreographer, I said yes!! Our choreography will rock your socks!!
I'm thinking of doing something like the first part of this video!!
Oh yeah people might thought that i have tons of dates thanks to the dating environment here at BYU and my personal attributes (yes I'm humble haha) but actually not! It is not that I'm picky cuz I'm not! Yesterday, I talked over the phone with this old date mate (yes i like to call'em mates). He was asking me why I am not dating... this make me think... seriously why I'm not going on dates lately... This guy told me that I'm attractive and nice so that is not the problem! I guess, since my last boyfriend I became unapproachable.. I don't know what happen I used to be the girl who was really talkative, funny and flirt. It was easy for me to move on but not this time. I had the biggest crush on my ex and it is taking me a lot of time getting over this. Anyways I decided to do something in order to fix my datingless (no dates) life.. I will be more friendly more approachable and yeah less picky! I still have some standards, I don't want creepy guys so for the rest of you that don't fit in the last description! I'm ready for you guys !!
Yesterday i did something dumb, by mistake i sent a text... It wouldn't bother me because I always send text messages to the wrong person and that's kind of normal to me.. BUT I send it to my ex boyfriend he replied yes he did but he seemed to be surprised... let me put it in the right words he didn't know who was texting him or at least he pretended that he didn't know. He sent me 3 messages asking who is this?? i didn't reply OBVIOUSLY. I was too asleep (it was 2 am) and ashamed.. but it is weird the night before I texted him on purpose and I wrote that this is Laura but he didn't reply, so my guess is that he knows that the the crazy texting woman was me! I just laughed of myself and my foolishness this morning!!
This weekend was awesome I heard the voice of my Lord through his disciples... I went with my bro and other friends and for first time I went to all sessions and Im so glad i did!! I made new friends, I remembered things that I knew, I saw a lot of friends even my ex boyfriend's dad (it was a really awkward, I didn't know what to do. Should i say hi or what?? Just for the record I pretended that I didn't saw him but it was pretty obvious that i was faking) . I felt the spirit, I went shopping during priesthood meeting, I laughed, I played pool, I watched a movie, A girl took me a pic for her blog , I had dinner with my brothers, I felt blessed, I felt the hand of my Heavenly Father my mom had an accident but she is doing fine, it is a miracle that she didn't hurt as I thought she will. I'm so happy for havinig her in my life and for her faith..
This weekend we had general conference.... It was awesome they words lift me up!! I feel so happy to know all these truths and they are part of my life. I feel blessed for believing in this wonderful gospel!!
This will be my daily view.. I really miss tall buildings and people walking on the streets
I'm way excited for the winter i might be moving to SLC!! I have a job opportunity there and i can still going to school cuz byu has a campus in the city!! YOU DONT IMAGINE HOW EXCITED I AM!! I want to live in the city again. It is fun to be in Provo but be out of the bubble will be sooo cool!!
Yesterday was an awesome day.. i got all my homework done instead of going to work I went to this birthday party. It was cool to see my friends they really make me feel beloved!! we danced, we ate they have tons of food, we play cards.. IT WAS A BLAST! Happy b-day Cesar!